My background, from my late teens into my mid twenties, was in nursing and the care sector. I’ve also done some teaching, and have a language degree. I have always been most interested in the relational side of everything I have experienced; how we communicate, and most importantly, how we relate and connect to one another. That’s what led me to train as a counsellor.
Working in the care sector meant that I often saw people at their most vulnerable which, in many ways, was a real privilege, as it allowed me to gain an insight into what was really important to the people in my care and their families. I was able to understand love and loss from a young age, which I have carried through into my adult life. This experience made me realise that very often, the most important thing a person can know is that someone is truly listening to them.
I lived abroad for a year in my early twenties, and found that although my foreign language skills improved, my non-verbal communication awareness developed quickly too-because it had to! This is also something I have carried forward into the way I am as a counsellor. Often what the client doesn’t say is as important, if not more so, than what they do choose to share.
Friends and family growing up, as well as clients nowadays, have often been surprised about the amount of detail I will remember about the things they tell me. This is because I have always been interested in other peoples’ stories, their history and what drives them forward.
My own experience as a client
There is a misconception that as counsellors, we are completely calm at all times, and coast through life without any emotional ups and downs. This isn’t true! I’ve had my share of troubles, and had my own counselling, in part because I felt I needed to, but also as part of my training. I was apprehensive. I didn’t know how my story would land. I worried about what my counsellor would think of me, and whether I’d be judged.
I was lacking in confidence, had quite vague boundaries, wasn’t sure where my life was going or where I wanted to be, and needed to make sense of a particularly difficult relationship within the family. Counselling helped me to gain insight into what was holding me back and, through a deeper understanding of myself, look at my situation with a fresh perspective, which was transformative. I’m far more “myself” now than I have been at any other time in my life, and (mostly) really comfortable in my own skin. My hope is that through the counselling relationship, my being myself means my clients will feel comfortable enough to be themselves as well.
How I can help you
Getting the right emotional and psychological support when you need it is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. Every one of us is unique. I’m interested in you, your story, how it feels to be you, and what has led you to the here and now. By striving to understand the world through your eyes, it gives me a deeper insight into who you really are, and how the world feels to you. That means I can help you to get to where you want to be.
Finding the right counsellor for you isn’t easy. Just as I was, you may be concerned about what that person might think of you, if they will judge you, whether they’ll be able to accept something you’ve done, or an experience you’ve had. My role is to meet you where you are, to listen without judgement so that you feel safe, supported, and accepted, and to help you find a way forward that takes you towards a happier, more authentic, and more contented you.
Often, people come into counselling because something isn’t working in a relationship, or there is no supportive person or support network to help them through a difficult, perhaps traumatic, event. Sometimes it’s because they feel “stuck” and don’t know which way to turn. I believe that the relationship between my clients and me is paramount. Through my life experience, and my own experience of counselling, I have found that if we can truly connect, positive change can follow.
I work in a very person-centred way, which means you are at the heart of the work we do together. I will bring dignity and respect to the counselling relationship, and your needs and values will influence all decisions about your therapy, and the course your recovery will take. If it’s appropriate for you, I may draw on a range of theories and practices to support you on your healing journey in order to enable you to get the most out of your counselling with me.